chloephoebeasherchoo: Counting the Miles

Truth is, it hurts.

It hurts so much I am avoiding the thought of it as much as I humanely could. I hate the thought of being so far from you. I hate every sound of it, every decibel that reminds me of the times you lift and slide open the padlock where the metal gates will clang. I hate the part where I hear tattoo and kimchi bark excitedly and the thought of you appearing at my gate like you used to all in hopes to surprise me would cloud up in my mind. If I said, I would not hold the little anticipating expectation and run down to see if you were there at all, I would be a fucking liar. With all bare honesty, I still do. Every single time. No matter how many times that same expectation failed on me the previous time, I would still hurry down just to make sure my hopes do not continue hanging in my head relentlessly. I hate the scenes that were once so familiar to me, with you in every frame. Now, the scenes they turned to only what my memories hold. We used to be together every day, if not almost everyday of the week. Not the whole day maybe, but a few hours everyday would be sufficient enough for us. That's what you said to me...

I told you that no, don't worry about it! it'll be fine because you staying 15mins away from me was a bonus. Truth is, I have been dreading the day you were scheduled to move out. I was supposed to be happy for you. I was supposed to be the happiest person for you. I am not. I am disappointed with myself as your partner for not being able to feel the happiness for you, I feel so stuck. I am happy for you like how I should be but at the same time, I really hate to see you go. Yes, physical distancing shouldn't be a problem if our relationship is strong enough to withhold all odds but the sudden need to re-adapt to you not being as close to me pains me to tears that even writing this now is torturous, so fucking torturous.

Yesterday, I lined up a day full of events so I would be so busy in my head thinking of stuff that your absence would not haunt me repeatedly. It started in the morning when I overheard the electronic voice over in the train announced it was ang mo kio station. It hit me harder than I expected. Heck, I didn't expect myself to feel anything but what happened was a wave of sadness flooding over me and a tsunami of tears drowned my morning vision. I stood at my porch and watered the floor to wash fattyK's pee tray and sobbed uncontrollably. I realised then that I finally allowed the thoughts to run wild and free the way they should. It was relieving yet painful. It affected me in every way possible. You used to take my ootds but today, nobody did. When I asked you if you wanted to meet me at siglap, you said it would be too far for you. We used to meet right after our work/school time and there was never really a time we didn't not spend together. We could literally head back from anywhere together everytime. Then I went over to ikea to get stuff for the cafe alone today. It was a new experience because I have never stepped into ikea myself before. I struggled carrying two big bags by myself and I hate it. I hate the thought of you not being there with me when I needed you. I needed you so badly to help me with the stuff. I needed you to be there because you have always been someone I turn to ask for opinions for anything and everything. I needed you to push me again on the trolley like the first time you did. I just needed you to be beside me so badly but you weren't.

I miss the times we had. I hate the fucking distance between us now. What ever happened to the 15mins walk.

Anw, here's a throw back on one of the dates that we had where we went to far east.

had lunch at the basement level over Shin Tokyo where I posted a video on ig saying how I got the perfect solution for you girls for those who wanna get thin!! HAHA, such silly ideas I had those times!! If you missed the video, I said that whenever alex and I eat out, my side of the table would be clean and he's would be piled up with food food food and more food all because he took all my food!! but of cos, I was just kidding!! oh, how much I miss those times.

ordered the only meat-free main dish and it was "mixed mushroom ramen" that I couldn't finish so half the bowl went into Alex's stomach but of cos, he being a sweetheart I got to rob his chawamushi and the edamames and the seasonsed seaweed and the fruits and the sushi hehehe

Then we went over to Blogshopping and I got to do some retail therapy!!

They have expanded so so so so so soooo much and OH MAH GAWD the current space they are housed in is literally your one pit stop if you're intending to do some seriously good shopping!! They are so big now they have T W O entrances/exits!!!!!!!!

I got to keep 2 very kickass items!! & this time I took it from the same brand!! Oh well, their items are just too fabz not to keep!!

So which brand is this?? www.kikikeli.com

Back Sheer Unhem Crop in White

absolutely loving the top and this was the first piece I took the moment I passed by their rack!! Even Alex said it is nice. He hardly says anything crop is nice because he hates me showing my skin.

very coincidentally after entering their website to look up for the name of items, I realised they paired the top I got with the other piece I took home too!! And thattttt is their

Paint Splatter Ripped Jeans

Wore it a number of times already because of how comfortable it hangs on my hips and I crazy love the whole rugged feel to it!!

and yeeeeassss that's the two gorg items I got to keep!! You can get to browse and try the apparels over there as well!! Below, you can get the details to being one of their members and enjoy all of the mentioned privileges!!

So yesssssssssaaaaahhhhh hurry down today because I swear that the brands that have been added to their old housed brands are your favourite amazeballs names!!

two other shout outs for this week for all those lazy bums or shopping queens who just can't get enough!!!!!!!

Here's www.shopsolitaryride.com

Solitary ride is a preorder site that have done a few advertorials with me previously and their service and apparels they offer are MUUUACKS yummy!!

Remember to like their facebook page at www.facebook.com/shopsolitaryride because there is where they will hold exclusive deals and latest updates that YOU NEVER WANNA MISS OUT ON!!

make sure to catch their 6 piece price system on their site to save more!!!!

Quote "Chloe" and receive a 5% off your purchase!!!!!

Up next would be www.rackspaceproject.blogspot.sg

Also a preorder site for you girls but I feel that both of them carry different items so you girls can now have a wider shopping radar!!